Divorce is almost always complicated. There are no simple solutions for certain situations, such as sharing responsibilities to look after the children, for instance. Yet, for parents who are headed towards a divorce, nothing is more important than the well-being of their children. Good parenting can help reduce resentment and conflict between the couple. That helps children cope with the stress of their parents’ divorce.
Having said that, there’s no cookie cutter formula for a good parenting plan during a divorce. The situation and equation between children and parents differ from family to family. Schedules for time spent with each parent differs too post-divorce so there’s a lot to consider.
These are only some common questions where practical decisions have to be made:
- Which parent will drive the kids to their extracurricular activities or a friend’s birthday party?
- Who will pay for their college fees? Will it be shared equally by both parents if both are employed or does one parent have to pay more than the other?
- How will both parents share the responsibility of looking after the kids if one stays in a different city?
- How will living in two separate households affect the children, especially if one parent or both find different partners?
- How will vacation, school holidays and weekends be divided between both parents?
- Who will make medical decisions on the children’s behalf?
- How will the time be divided between festive celebrations, birthday celebrations and family visits to meet grandparents or relatives?
Parenting Plan by the Parents or Judge?
No one knows the kids better than the parents themselves. If parenting is left to a judge, things may not work out in a way that the parents consider is in the best interest of the child or that suits the convenience/schedules of the parents. It’s always best if you take out time to weigh the pros and cons to mutually work out what’s best for your children. Co-parenting with mutually agreed considerations will make your post-divorce life smoother and less anxious.
If you are unable to come to a cordial agreement, it’s important to consider the intervention of an experienced divorce mediator which can help to avoid a drawn-out adversarial situation, and potential costly lawyer and court fees.
The Resolution Alternative
Our impartial, experienced, sensitive divorce mediators help you ease the stress of separation that often leads to power imbalances, mistreatments and unnecessary stress for both parents and their children.
We work to help you avoid adversarial confrontations, and towards amicable solutions for spousal support, child support, house responsibilities, gifts, inheritance, RRSP plans, pension and more- all at cost-effective rates. Before proceeding further, both of you should be open to the idea of mediation as a potential way forward. If you are, then for any queries we are happy to discuss further in a brief telephone consultation. Please contact us through the website or by phone. Our offices are open Monday to Friday.
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